North of Normal

 {Nordstrom Rack: graphic t-shirt, cute ones here; F21: maxi skirt similar here and here, rings similar here and here; Target: earrings similar; Ross: sandals similar}

Lovely readers, this thing we call grieving is a beastie. It's a whole ugly emotional process that right now seems never ending. It's the type of thing that you can't and don't really fully understand until you're going through it. It's a whole beast of emotions: sadness, anger, shock, denial, irritation, and pain both emotional and physical. Sometimes I'll find peace and then the grieving beast will rear it's ugly head yet again and the host of overwhelming emotions will come flooding back. It can sometimes get so irritating that I wish I could just crawl out of my own skin and just take a break from being me, take a break from feeling the barrage of emotions. This past week I have found myself wondering how I ever functioned before in my life before the loss of a loved one. I look back at that "old" me and wonder how she ever found normality and a sense of peaceful contentment in life. When I look back on that "old" me I begin to wonder how I can find my way back to that. Then I think that maybe I won't ever find my way back to that exact sense of normal but maybe, in time, I'll navigate my way to a new sense of normal. A normality in which, sure, I won't get to share monumental life events with my grandma but I will be at peace with that and find happiness and certainty in that "death, though bitter to observe, is not the end, but is, rather, only another graduation from which we go on to a better life”.

Now, enough of that, even I'm getting irritated with all of this grieving talk. It's frustrating enough to have to feel,  so I can imagine its a penny load of annoying to have to read. In an attempt to navigate myself to this "new" sense of normal which I'm starting to feel I'm just north of, I decided to participate in the "What She Wears" link up again. This month is all about maxi's. I went with this maxi I got last year at F21 for the lovely price of nine buckaroos. I paired it with this graphic tee with a love compass on it that I found at Nordstrom the other day. I loved it because as I mentioned above I felt like I had lost my sense of "normal" and peace and this simple little tee reminded me that the love and comfort of my dear family could be my compass back. Together, my family and I could guide each other to a place of tranquility. Until then, I'll remember that to go through this grieving process is perfectly natural because, "thou shalt live together in love, insomuch that thou shalt weep for the loss of them that die”. -D&C42:45

Much love