Barren Desert and the Greek system

{Target: dress similar; Gifts from my sister's trip to Guatemala: jade necklace, beaded bracelet, tribal print gladiator sandals borrowed from Allison}

I wore this outfit yesterday and meant to post it but I just never got around to it so first and foremost I would like to apologize to you homies for the dry as the middle of butt crack Egypt that has been my blog lately. It has been ten days since I last posted anything. TEN DAYS! I know. Pretty crazy. That's basically like the kiss of death for a blog but I just felt like I needed a hiatus from blogging, and social networks. Hopefully, there are still plenty of you guys still interested in reading after ten days of butt crack Egypt barrenness. What does one do exactly when one takes a hiatus from social media you ask? Discover that one of your favorite shows from the teen years is now up on Netflix and have a marathon, that's what. In my high school days I had a set 'post school day' routine. It involved coming home and making myself a couple PB&J's and settling down in front of my parents TV to watch two solid hours of ABC Family before forcing myself to buckle down to tackle the mounds of AP homework I had. Yes. I realize how nerdy that sounds. TV and AP homework? BUT, guys come on, who didn't have an obsession with Gilmore Girls, right? Plus, I mean, I made up for the serious laziness that was the first two quarters of the school year by running Track and Field and playing Tennis in the Spring so it balanced out. At least that's how I justified my ABC Family addiction. ;) Anyway, that brings me to the second show I watched during my two solid hours of ABC Family watching during high school: Greek. Did any of guys watch it too? Or am I alone in my love of this series? 

Anyway, it follows the lives of a few college kids in the Greek system. More specifically this girl who has two totally babe-ilicious guys vying for her love. Top left and bottom right. They're just your typical no goal degenerate and rich law school bound prep. Of course drama ensues, and she ultimately ends up with the no goal hippie degenerate because he finally decides on a future and wins her over. Anyway, somewhere in the middle of the series she starts dating this hot science nerd who is just about the nicest, most romantic guy around. When I first watched the series I hated this guy like no other. I couldn't stand the sight of him. This time around, though, he's my favorite of her male suitors. I mean, I always used to have a thing for the blond "all-american" prep types like male numero dos on the bottom right up there, and I even once had a "thing" (whatever the crap a "thing" even is) with a looser degenerate type, but lets not even discuss that because that has now been filed under the "temporary insanity, learn from and never think of again" file. Anyway, re-watching the series has got me thinking that maybe what I need  to go for now is the hot nerd type. I mean, they're usually the sweetest guys right? Or maybe I'm just dreaming and believing way too much in the fantasy land that is television. Who knows. Maybe I should just keep going for the chivalrous preps that have been my type for the past six years. Stick to what you know? Eh? Who knows. Maybe this whole "type" thing is just overrated anyway, and I should just sit back and let karmic synergy do it's thing and let myself be swept off my feet by whoever is right for me regardless of what stereotype he falls under. BUT no more looser degenerate types for this girl, that's for dang sure. I mean, hello, this girl's getting married in the temple! ;)

Much Love!

P.S. Yesterday it was one month exactly since my grandma passed away. Has missing her gotten any easier? No. Not at all. Some days my mind will play tricks on me and tell me that everything's ok, that she's just in Guatemala still just a phone call away. Then, I remember that she's not and my heart aches all over again. Wretched, stupid little brain of mine. Tricking me and shiz. I mean, I know my brain is just trying to make me feel better but I wish it would just stop. My brain sucks at comforting. Ya hear that, little guy? You suck at comforting so just stop trying. And, yes, I just called my brain a he and spoke to him as if it's a separate entity from me. Aww well, I mean, if my brain is going to be it's own being it might as well be a little guy, right? I mean, why not? It has gotten easier having a heart full of gladness so that I can live a life that she would be proud of, though. 

Sigh...she was gorgeous wasn't she? And this isn't even her in her prime. 

I'm a little airplane

{Ross: chambray top similar; Target: shorts they're on sale for $5 in stores!; Charlotte Russe: heels similar; F21: earrings similar H&M: hat}

You know those days that aren't technically bad, yet you're irritated the whole day anyway? One of those days when you kinda just want to fist punch a camel covered in fruit punch? I kind of had one of those days. There was nothing wrong with today, but it was irritating me nonetheless. How's about we talk about something fun, then? Eh? Eh?? Like childhood! Oh, those were the days! The days when I basically sang all of about five songs on repeat the whole day. The ABC's was my go to bathroom song...gross? Maybe. But, hey, I was 5 so sue me if I liked having a toilet song to jam out to! Then of course there was any song by The Cranberries, Zombie was one of my faves, though. These next two where my go to play time favorites: Take My Picture by Filter and I'm a Little Airplane by Barney. When I was 5 I was going through this airplane phase. I loved anything to do with airplanes: the sky, clouds, airports, pilots, the whole shebang. In fact I'm pretty sure if you had asked me what I wanted to be at the time I probably would've said I wanted to be an airplane. That's right, not a pilot, an  airplane. I don't know if any of you know the "I'm a Little Airplane" song by Barney but it goes a little something like this: "I'm a little airplane neeeow, neeeow, neeeow." You basically just repeat that verse over and over again while you run in circles with your arms outstretched acting like an airplane. Clearly, I was the annoying sibling. Anyway, "Take My Picture" by Filter mentioned airplanes so it was an instant hit for my five year old self. In my young mind it was possibly the best song ever written. I mean listen to it. It is pretty awesome. 

Oh, and You are My Sunshine, which my kindergarten teacher was awesome enough to teach me, was the last of my favorites. I sang it whenever I felt lonely or sad and in need of cheering up. For all of those other in between moments of childhood I would just make up my own little tunes about what I was doing. Sigh...such fond memories! Well, I no longer feel like fist punching a fruit punch covered camel! 

Much love! 

P.S. the shorts are a lot longer than they look, they just ride up like craaazy! 

The Jack of All Trades

{Ross: chiffon top similar; Charlotte Russe: maxi skirt; custom leather sandals, beaded ring, and bracelet c/o my little sister's trip to our homeland Guatemala!} 

As I was going through my blog feed this morning and reading my favorite blog's newest posts I got to thinking about the term "jack of all trades". There are so many bloggers and just regular women out there that seem to have this whole "jack of all trades" thing in the bag. Am I a jack of all trades? Ha! Don't make me laugh. ;) I mean, I so wish I was. I wish I could be one of those bloggers who could teach you all how to turn a piece of cucumber into a mouth watering apple pie or build a perfectly stylish and hipsteresque picture frame out of a couple of twigs you found in your backyard, or one of those bloggers who could lure you all in with professional looking, thought provoking, heartachingly, gorgeous photos of my totally "fabulous" life but I'm not. Not to mock the wonderful abilities of those bloggers out there who can, I mean they're great and totally awesome, but that's just not me. Like I said, I so wish. Any who, it got me wondering about the things that I am good at. What is it that I bring to the table for this blog of mine? I came up with this list of things that I am good at and that have always come naturally to me.

1. reading
2. writing
3. drawing
4. playing piano/cello
5. running
6. imagining 
7. dressing myself

Out of the seven things I thought up of on the spot only three are things that I can actually share with you guys. I mean, reading? It's not exactly like I can sit all of you out there who follow this blog of mine down and read Harry Potter (Yes, I'm a Harry Potter nerd. Judge if you must.) to you. I can't exactly give you all a piano or cello performance either, not that I think I'd even really want to either. :) I guess with the whole running thing I could share running or fitness tips, which I had originally started off wanting to do on this blog but I just haven't really gotten around to actually doing it. Now, for the three things that I think I actually could share with you guys: writing, dressing myself, and imagining. Writing is something that I just simply adore. I always have. I love being able to share a story through written word. I mean, words are powerful little suckers! I just love it. Anyway, seeing as I've made this blog a personal style/fashion blog my ability to dress myself comes in pretty handy, wouldn't you say? ;) Last but not least, imagination. I've always had an imagination the size of an elephant, which comes in handy when coming up with topics to write about, putting together outfits, and just basically everything else in my life. Anyway, I guess that's what I bring to the table when it comes to my blog...but oh! I missed one thing: humor! Well, I think so anyway...I don't know what you guys think. ;) I think my particular brand of humor is a little unconventional, though. Growing up I was always the goofy one with my siblings. I did crazy/funny things and I said crazy/funny things. I used to be able to get my sisters to choke on and spit up their drinks out of sheer laughter with a single look or key word. Don't believe me? Just ask my older sister about the time she laughed so hard coca-cola came out of her nose. ;) The thing is that if you asked my parents if I'm funny they'd both probably say no. I think it's just because my funniness stems from my weirdness and not everybody sees it and understands it. My funniness I mean, because heavens knows my weirdness is pretty evident to anybody who knows me. The one place I do feel like my humor is a little more universal, though, is this blog. I find it easier to express my humor to the masses when it's written rather than when I say it out loud. Go figure. Anyway, if you're looking for a little more than fashion ideas or funny tidbits of thought then I guess you're at the wrong place, but I certainly hope  you're not! ...but if you do want to know how to turn a piece of cucumber into deliciously warm apple pie, turn a pile of sticks from your yard into something totally awesome, and/or look at totally fabulous photos that will make even a brick wall look cool check out these two ladies blogs: Sara over at Chalk White Arrow and the totally adorable and sweet Hunter at Hunter's Dialogues!

Much love!

Swing, Swing (An ode to my deep rooted irrational fears!)

{F21: vest similar, basic tank; Target: boyfriend jeans -on sale!!; Charlotte Russe: heels similar; H&M: hat -on sale for $10 in stores; Yellow bangle-borrowed from my mum, similar}

Hello all. I was thinking since it's been pretty somber round these parts as of late I should start getting back into the swing of things and start being my usually weird vaguely humorous blogging self. How's that sound? Good? Good. In the spirit of getting back into the swing of things I figured it'd be fun to make a compilation of strange fears. I mean, we all have strange little things that spook us or irrationally freak us out right? Alright, lets get started!  

•  Crooked Teeth: Yes. I'm terrified of getting crooked teeth. I know. That sounds SO vain right? Bleh. Well, it's not entirely for vain reasons though! I mean I spent four years with braces not to mention the time I had to spend wearing an expander. Ouch. That's a lot of time spent with metal on my teeth that impeded me from swallowing my own spit properly, gross I know, so there's no way no how that'd I'd want to undo that. It's kind of an irrational fear since I have a cemented in retainer on my top and bottom teeth but nonetheless I'm always paranoically running my tongue over my teeth to check their straightness and/or doing a quick mirror check. Like my teeth would go completely whackedy whack in two seconds, as if. I'm weird. I know it.  
• Sleeping with closed doors: I'm the complete opposite of most people. Most people like to sleep with the closet, bathroom, and bedroom door closed. Ya know, to keep monsters, kidnappers, and creepy crawlies away. I, on the other hand, prefer having all of the doors open, that way I can SEE that there aren't any monsters, kidnappers, and/or creepy crawlies in the dark spaces. Therefore, (Yes, I just said therefore. I just can't bring myself to start a sentence with so, improper grammar. Eek!) I'm freaked of sleeping with doors closed unless I'm sharing a room. Which I do. With my younger sister who happens to be terrified of sleeping with ANY open doors. 
• Walking up any stairs in the dark: I think this one is pretty common. I mean, who doesn't feel like they've got a monster or murderer creepin' up on them when they're headed up the stairs? The only proper way to climb stairs in the dark is to sprint them two at a time, right? Right. 
• Jumping off of any sort of edge: I cannot bring myself to jump off of any edge. Seriously. It freaks me out. I don't know why. I can't jump off of diving boards. I can't jump off of the edge of a pool. I can't jump down more than a few steps. I couldn't even jump off of a boat if it meant saving my life. It isn't a height thing, either, because if it were I'd be be able to jump off the edge of a pool, but I can't. Plus, I have no problem climbing up ridiculously tall heights and climbing down from high places...but I can't JUMP. It gives me the willies. Ehhhhhh. 
• Last but not least, my absolute PHOBIA of birds, which I dedicated a complete post to here.

Well, I think that's about it. I think. Do you guys have any weird fears?? Oh and P.S. my little brother just went to get his license today. Yippee! Can you say chauffeur and new errand boy? Buahaha! Anyway, when he measured his height he was 5'11!! An inch away from an even 6 feet! I don't know why, but this just makes me insanely proud! Go him!

Much love!

Haters gonna hate...

You guys, naps can seriously be a cure all to a bad day. Today was my first day back at work since my grandma passed. I arrived at work feeling a little gloomy, despite the major cheering up my sister and friends had given me over the weekend. I don't know why I was feeling like a Debbie downer but like I said in my last post grieving is just a strange thing. Either way, I went into work feeling like a lot of emotion had somehow resurfaced and was weighing down on my heart. The work day progressed pretty normally and wasn't actually too bad until the very last hour. Some comments were made to me by a coworker that just completely derailed my already on edge emotions. This negative exchange with a completely unsympathetic coworker brought to mind the saying, "if you have nothing kind to say, don't say anything at all". I mean, really why waste so much energy on hurting others when you can use less energy on saying something kind and uplifting? OR, if you really have nothing kind at all to say, especially to someone who is grieving, why not waste no energy by not saying anything at all? I try to go through life blindly loving my fellow men, which I realize isn't the smartest thing but I really try to see the good in everybody no matter how small. I've never found it more challenging than in this instance. Anyway, after getting home from work and having a long teary talk with my sister I was able to rationalize the situation and calm down enough to take a nap. Best decision of the day, let me tell ya. Naps can seriously give some major perspective. I calmed down, felt better, and realized that maybe my hyper sensitive emotions had maybe dramatized the situation, and after all, haters gonna hate. Right? Right. So I'll just let the haters hate and the potatoes potate. BUT...guys, if I'm this emotional now I hate to imagine how insanely emotional I'll be when ever it is that I get pregnant. Ha! That poor, poor fellow that will have to put up with me. ;)

Anyway, how about we move on to more cheerful topics and recap the Vegas trip I had with my lovely lovely sister and two best friends! We spent Saturday and Sunday in Vegas just shopping, sight seeing, fine dining, swimming, tanning, and celebrating my sister's 23rd birthday, which is coming up in 3 days!

We started off the trip with a pit stop in St. George at a deeeeelicious bubble tea and smoothie joint called Orange Peel!

We shopped for about a million gazillion hours before checking into our hotel, the VDara, and totally crashing on the ridiculously cozy bed before very slowly changing into our "hot stuff" night life getup!

The above mentioned "hot stuff" night life getup!

We had dinner at a fancy schmancy restaurant across the street at the Aria. I have to say, I think the part we all enjoyed most was the bread dipped in oil and vinegar. We like bread. Maybe a little too much. Oh well. 

We goofed around a bit and attempted to strike "serious" model poses but ended up looking a little more like pouty constipated vampires. ;)

We arrived back at the hotel where we had this INcredible view!

All in all we had a fabulous time celebrating this lovely lady's day of birth!

There were so many other fun filled moments spent swimming and just plain old goofing around but I think I've entertained you all long enough. ;)

AND...At the end of the day there are always going to be naysayers and negative people in the world but the important part is to appreciate and fully value loving family, good friends, and unshakable faith! Cheers to lasting and loving friendships and family!

Much love!

North of Normal

 {Nordstrom Rack: graphic t-shirt, cute ones here; F21: maxi skirt similar here and here, rings similar here and here; Target: earrings similar; Ross: sandals similar}

Lovely readers, this thing we call grieving is a beastie. It's a whole ugly emotional process that right now seems never ending. It's the type of thing that you can't and don't really fully understand until you're going through it. It's a whole beast of emotions: sadness, anger, shock, denial, irritation, and pain both emotional and physical. Sometimes I'll find peace and then the grieving beast will rear it's ugly head yet again and the host of overwhelming emotions will come flooding back. It can sometimes get so irritating that I wish I could just crawl out of my own skin and just take a break from being me, take a break from feeling the barrage of emotions. This past week I have found myself wondering how I ever functioned before in my life before the loss of a loved one. I look back at that "old" me and wonder how she ever found normality and a sense of peaceful contentment in life. When I look back on that "old" me I begin to wonder how I can find my way back to that. Then I think that maybe I won't ever find my way back to that exact sense of normal but maybe, in time, I'll navigate my way to a new sense of normal. A normality in which, sure, I won't get to share monumental life events with my grandma but I will be at peace with that and find happiness and certainty in that "death, though bitter to observe, is not the end, but is, rather, only another graduation from which we go on to a better life”.

Now, enough of that, even I'm getting irritated with all of this grieving talk. It's frustrating enough to have to feel,  so I can imagine its a penny load of annoying to have to read. In an attempt to navigate myself to this "new" sense of normal which I'm starting to feel I'm just north of, I decided to participate in the "What She Wears" link up again. This month is all about maxi's. I went with this maxi I got last year at F21 for the lovely price of nine buckaroos. I paired it with this graphic tee with a love compass on it that I found at Nordstrom the other day. I loved it because as I mentioned above I felt like I had lost my sense of "normal" and peace and this simple little tee reminded me that the love and comfort of my dear family could be my compass back. Together, my family and I could guide each other to a place of tranquility. Until then, I'll remember that to go through this grieving process is perfectly natural because, "thou shalt live together in love, insomuch that thou shalt weep for the loss of them that die”. -D&C42:45

Much love

Miss you, miss you.

My first memories of you start when I'm about two years old. I remember I used to beg to sleepover at your house almost every night. I remember that you never used to sleep very much so you'd always be up and about late at night. I'd creep out of bed and sneak over to the kitchen where I'd find you doing dishes, and I'd snuggle up close to you and offer to help.

I remember that in the morning when I'd sit and wait for Mom and Dad to pick me up you would teach my tiny three year old fingers how to hold a pencil and write cursive i's. I remember how in the years later, when you would visit me, you would stand in my room and sing me to sleep. No matter how long it took. I remember how you bought me a book full of Cuentos de Ada (Fairy Tales). I remember how I made you read me every single one until I had them almost memorized.

I remember how we used to play guessing games and riddles in the car. I remember how you used to love sweets more than any other type of food. I guess that's where I got my sweet tooth. I remember how you used to buy me little trinkets and jewelry because you knew I was just as coquettish as you. I remember how you always loved to give, give, and give. Even when you had nothing else left to give. I remember how much you loved people, and how much they loved you. How you where able to seemingly make best friends in a mere few minutes.

I remember how you where able to find beauty and value in absolutely everything and everyone. I remember how much you loved nature, most especially the mountains and flowers. I remember how much you loved to learn. You were always trying to improve your mind and learn something new. I remember what a faithful woman you were, and what an example your unshakable faith was to me. I remember how you dearly loved to hear me and my sisters laugh, and how you would join in with us in our laughter even if you didn't know what we were laughing about. For that I have to remember to always laugh. Most of all, I remember how much you loved me and how much I loved YOU.  

Till we meet again, 

Your devoted granddaughter